Film Review - Tales From The Carnal Morgue
Starring Caroline Pierce, Corey Foxx, Vanessa Mitchell, Craig Curlee | Directed by David Quitmeyer | Steel Web DVD LB Not Rated 90min 2007
Review By Xmortis
The first short in this Carnal Morgue collection is MAIL ORDER BRIDE, a twisted tale about Steve, a man who is down on his luck with the ladies after his girlfriend left him heartbroken. The date he just went on was one that was set up over the Internet and turned out to be a she-male! Steve heads home after his horrible date and starts to watch a horror movie marathon, when his pal Donald calls and needs him to tape the films cause his VCR is broken. A deal is made where Donald must dub a copy of his new porn video he got for the copy of the films, all is well. But when Steve starts to record and relax to some Z-grade horror, a commercial begins for a mail order robotic life size love doll and peeks his interest. He decides to be lonely no more and orders the doll that night. Morning comes, and the love doll is delivered.
To Steve’s shock the doll is not what he ordered; it’s a bride of Frankenstein looking Goth girl! But he looks past this and plugs his life doll in for 12 hours so that her batteries can charge. Steve then reads up on his doll all day. He learns that she must watch porn videos to learn her moves. He starts her off with a strip video; she watches then does a stripping act. The next morning Donald shows up with his dubbed porn video, and Steve is running late for work. He leaves his love doll to watch the porn. She does, but a glitch happens and the porn stops and the horror films start. She is programmed and watches the films until they end. That night Steve comes home and wines and dines his love doll. When it comes down to sex time, all hell breaks loose, and Steve ends up gutted and in the oven!
Next up is MR. BUTTONS. A young witch is heart broken. She puts a curse on a doll and sends it to her ex-lovers house for his daughter Kelly’s birthday. The whole family is around as Kelly blows out her candles and opens her package, labeled as being from her Grandmother. Inside the box is a Clown doll that smells of death. The whole morning Kelly’s mother tries to clean the doll, but nothing can get the smell out…that is until Kelly wishes it to stop smelling. She names the doll Mr. Buttons, and he is her best friend. She wishes they would stay friend forever! That night, Kelly’s parents are fighting again, and she wishes they would stop. So Mr. Buttons goes and kills her parents. Kelly then wakes up as a grown woman in an asylum where she is attacked by a mean watchman who takes Mr. Buttons away from her. She wishes he would choke on his own vomit and die, so Mr. Buttons poisons his coffee and Kelly is free into the night. The next morning Kelly shows up at her aging older brothers house, and they speak about the evil that is the doll. Kelly informs him that Mr. Buttons told her about the witch who placed the curse on the doll and how she wished Mr. Buttons to kill her and he did. Her brother is shocked to find out she is really there to see him die and he does of a heart attack. But the real shock comes when she tells him as a child she wished he would go to hell! In the end Kelly is crying and so is Mr. Buttons.
Our last tale of horror comes in the name of SUSTENANCE. The story is about Victoria, who hates her weight and the way it makes her body look. So she decides to get treatment for weight loss and finds a doctor who does a new form of operation for this procedure. The only drawback is that she must stay alone in a white room with very little food and water. This turns into torture as days pass and she is left with no human contact. One night she is drugged and wakes up with a huge cut with stitches on her stomach! All the while a strange man in red light watches her from a camera in the room and takes notes. One night she is attacked again by this strange man and wakes up with a cut around her throat and her voice gone. She is becoming more animal like and keeps being attacked by this evil man who decides to take her hand one night. She then learns that the food she has been given is in fact her missing parts! In the end the evil doctor cuts Victoria down to nothing more than a head.
A great little short film collection from David Quitmeyer (who is the same guy who made SLAGHTER DISC), and each short has its own twisted message. These shorts almost have a Tales From the Crypt feel. Plus the acting is great all around, and each short has a real heart. Very well made indeed.
The DVD has some great extras like Bonus Scenes that are worth a watch, Gag Reels for all three shorts and Trailers. Plus, the cover art is great and eye catching.
All in all, this DVD is worth a watch. It has something for everyone from gore to black comedy to nudity. I say worth a buy.